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(TCP)CHICAGO – Dateline Chicago -
Subtitle: “My Pet Human Knows What To Do”
“sammy, don’t go through the flower pot today, please….” pet humans are sooooo well trained these days. before ceasar the pet whisperer, intelligent species like cats and dogs had a whale of a time training their humans. life get’s better. i’ve gotten my pet to the point where if i tear up the flower pot, and fall asleep in the middle of my dirt pile, i get a snuggle, maybe a kiss. then i watch interestedly as they clean it all up, all the while plotting my next adventure.
i wasn’t planning any trips today. i had to respond to tweets. like this one:
leeannesavage: Howz my lil rat doing? that from Tuscon’s Ms. Popularity, and human hotty Leeanne Savage, Country Singer and #Mayan Listed above. i helped with her campaign, and got the word out.
Now she knows I am not a rat, and ferrets were once great ratters. we hunted rats. we served in the navies of the world. we went where cats and terriers could not reach, we were the best. now we are all unemployed, errrr.. i mean we are all twitter consultants, and sit around and train humans.
this just in from mary, my main detractor: “Sam you seem sensitive about being called a rat”
Me: thanks mary, you are so perceptive. may I call you frank?
my uncle freddie was once confused with and was briefly referred to a lil bear:
i can understand that, some ferrets have bear like markings, and the name is sumpin’ cute. this little baby is being raised by a chinese farmer who found him.
my aunt, also named uncle freddie was called lil lion, and i can see that designation as well:
these three darlings were recently born in russia. white lions. now those are rare species. almost as rare as a straight guy working retail at the mall.
leeanne’s tweet prompted a response
sharbowers Sooo, I’m not the only 1 who thought he looked like a rat?! He never mentioned it.
see, again, the reference to a rat. now, another uncle freddie was named polar bear because when little, he was white, like me, and i can see the resemblance.
these guys are being bottle fed by chinese zookeepers because their mom abandonded them.
i have come to endure the rat references. i can’t really complain when people mess up or make mistakes. i fall asleep and don’t even remember tearing up the flower pot. i waken in a daze, or a dream ~ i’m in some far off land, and wouldn’t know how to put the dirt back into the pot anyway. someone should invent fake dirt. apparently, i’ve trained my human real well. for all their mistakes, and all their faults, i still love em.
snuggling is the best gig on earth if you can get it.
that is all.
I’m Sarcastic Sam for The Critical Post (TCP)CHICAGO – send me Pop Tarts and a pretty woman’s lap to sit on while I eat them @09:38 HRS CST 5 MAY 2011
follow sam on twitter: http://twitter.com/samuel_clemons